Now that The Satanic Temple (TST) is openly contemplating suing Netflix over their use of TST’s Baphomet statue in their new show The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, the fraught issue of public (mis)representation of Satanists and Satanism finds itself yet again front and center. In this piece, I argue that the frequent misunderstandings of Satanism both within and outside of the macro-community of self-identified Satanists stems from a much more fundamental issue than mere public representations. Rather, I argue that the word Satanist suffers from an acute problem of meaning. In particular, I maintain that the term represents a vociferous, squabbling jumble of referents in search of a unified (and unifying) sense. Of course, no one self-identified Satanist will come to agreement with many others of their ilk about how to resolve this dilemma, but the point here is simply to stake out and sketch the contours of the basic ground for this disagreement. I hope that this move will serve to encourage a shift of focus off matters of lesser importance (like statues) and onto the central concern: what exactly and precisely is a Satanist? To take the plunge into this linguistic and conceptual confound, click here.